Fear…

October is a time to connect with ancestral bridges that offer a chance to drop into deep understanding of ourselves and the fear we carry, to untangle the frustrations that fear brings up every day.

A tremendous part of my daily inner work on self and outer work as a staff member, spokesperson, and parent in a paradigm shifting transformational learning community, resides in fear.

And I have been connecting with fear every time I feel him and sense him in others. Each time, I intentionally drop in and meet him face to face. And here are some things I have observed about this energy we know as fear…

Fear dwells deep at our core, within our DNA, because we needed him to survive and evolve into the species of humans we are today. We carry the traumas of our ancestors in our DNA, which wrap themselves around him, that primordial fear, and envelope him in warmth and safety. Fear has a really dark and comforting tiny cave deep within each of us with an unfettered supply of ancestral trauma to fuel his cozy abode.

When fear comes out to play though, he uses the brain to tag us, which can get confusing, because we humans are indoctrinated into the tale that our “advanced brains” give us righteous power over all creatures great and small… But y’all, that’s fear down in his cave at your core screaming through a bullhorn into your brain that you are “it”.

Some of our universal ancestors listened to fear, but they knew how to filter him through their gut, their senses, their intuition, and that allowed them to survive and evolve for generations. Some of those ancestors stopped listening through the filter to their intuition and decided to listen directly to fear’s bullhorn echoing around in their brains, which bred the need for power over rather than a collective powerful understanding of all. And that’s when fear reclused itself even deeper into our core and began feeding off the power it had manifested in the brains of humans.

And here is where my personal work picks up. I have been dropping in to pay fear a visit daily for a while and this is what I know.

That tricked out tiny cave where fear lives has guards posted at the entrance. Fear rarely leaves his comfortable home because we don’t need to give flight that much anymore… But its fighting game is strong. In some humans, fear has anger and hatred on guard. That’s when shit gets scary, right?! Fear loves that!! Fear loves our world right now! Fear owns this society we live in. Every single aspect of it.

So to face one’s own fear, guarded by anger and hatred, we must be brave and listen to our fear through the filter of our soul. This is not something happening widely nowadays but it’s having its moments in some circles…

Tapping into our soul, connecting to her, the deepest and longest existing part of ourselves, is the key to meeting fear in its darkest interior, guarded first by anger and hate.

Lindsay Mack, of Wild Soul Healing, gives the brilliant analogy of radio stations. Radio 1 is the brain and it’s turned up really loud while Radio 2 is the soul which can’t be turned up as it’s exactly as it should be heard. So we must turn Radio 1 down so that we can listen to the intuitive whispers of that radio of the soul that can tap into the other instincts that are more subtle and just as needed as fear. And they tell fear to settle down. They offer him respite, which he really wants. And in that offering, he backs off and tells his guards to take a break… But he’s always ready to scream into that bullhorn. So it is a practice that we must maintain, a development of habit to listen to the soul more deeply and hear fear less.

But sometimes fear lives out in the open with worry as his roommate/guardian of sorts. It’s a tricky codependent relationship where they both claim that love is the reason for their incessant need to override the brain’s volume control drowning out the soul and its deep knowing.

It’s fascinating once you see truly how fear is always at the core. You see how it got us this far in our survival and how it also could be our downfall. It deserves to be acknowledged and then it needs to be told to have a seat…

There is a healthy relationship fear can have though; when fear is balanced with respect, responsibility and personal freedom, there is a certain magic that we encounter within ourselves. It harkens back to that primordial combination that evolved us. We remember it when we really listen to our soul and allow our brain to recall for us the information we need to know about all that is… The combination of Respect, Responsibility, and Personal Freedom honors life and existence, taking it seriously: The earth, life on earth, earth’s evolution, the cosmos, the promise of humanity as a collaborator, a member of community.

The balance of respect, responsibility, and personal freedom that rests in the soul allows us to respect fear when we need it to survive, free ourselves from its incessant grip, and hold it accountable when it tries to overthrow the balance.

And then we can listen to our soul, deeply for it will speak the truth. The soul will never lead us astray and in listening we heal our traumas in this life and within the DNA we hold of our ancestors.

Cheers to this labyrinthine journey!

Sonia

P.S. Below is the poem I wrote that inspired this essay reflection… enjoy.

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Dear Fear…

We are not best friends.

You are welcome

to keep me alive

In times of peril

Of which there are

few nowadays.

You can have my attention

In car garages

And in parking lots

at night when I’m

leaving Target loaded

down with nonsense.

You are welcome

when I am making

sustainable shopping choices

recycling, composting,

and doing my part

to caretake the earth

as we burn us up.

But I am turning

away from you

when I am not at risk.

Survival is no longer

a priority.

Not like you want it to be.

We no longer get chased

By saber-toothed tigers.

I’ve turned you

down as a friend,

Dear Fear.

Me and my soul

are BBFs now.

I LISTEN to her more

And hear you less.

Cheers,

Sonia

#rootdown #riseup #totherevolutions #alldefinitionsapply

Written at Rockvale Writers’ Colony 9/21/2019